Dear Starbucks

Dear Starbucks,
I am breaking up with you. I know it has been 13 long years but really it is time for this to come to an end. It is not you. It is me. I simply do not have the stomach for that new swill you call Pikes Place brew. It is horrible. Doesn't even matter how much I drown it with half and half. It still tastes like dirt. Well, not like Sumatra, but watery dirt.

I hope we can be friends. When I see you on the street, I will say 'hello' and try not to make fun of your desperate attempts at re-branding or your flagging stock price. Please stop crying. This is hard for both of us.

Sorry, baby. We’re through.